“I’m fine”

Sometimes, when I say, “I’m fine,” I want someone to look me in the eyes and say, “tell me the truth.”

Do you ever want this? For someone to look at you and ask you to tell the truth of how you are really doing? Would you be able to be honest and truthful? With that person? And with yourself?

I have mentored girls who have struggled with self injury, as well as eating disorders. I have been there myself. I have been looked at in the eyes, and have looked at other people in the eyes to that same question.

I didn’t want to be honest, a lot of the time. But the times I was, I found either the person was very concerned and wanted to listen, or they didn’t really seem to care at all. It was a hard road to balance, stepping out and risking being rejected again, but also to know that sometimes they wanted to hear me out, they wanted to know the pain behind my eyes.

It is heartbreaking to look into the eyes of another who is struggling, it isn’t an easy task to always listen to the nitty gritty details of another’s pain. But to see the relief in their eyes, to hear the relief in their voice afterwards, you know its the right thing to be done, and it makes it all worthwhile.

Be honest. Be brave. Be vulnerable. Be there to ask the difficult questions for that friend or family member.

Stay strong.
~Val

About these ads

6 thoughts on ““I’m fine”

  1. I honestly believe that, though people lie & cover up, people desire desire the truth…regardless if it brutal or not. And desire true friends to grab hold of us at times and shake the heck out of us so we will wake & sniff the roses!

    Like

  2. Sometimes people do ask and I remember the last time I was honest with them, and didn’t feel deeply loved back, miscommunication, they went away and I couldn’t depend on them anymore, or the like. When you hope in people and they let you down. (So I continue with the socially-produced processes…of not revealing too much, if anything @all, &being polite.)

    I guess it’s just hard to trust that people can actually care like that; I know they can, but don’t trust it.

    Like

  3. Sometimes people do ask and I remember the last time I was honest with them, and didn’t feel deeply loved back, miscommunication, they went away and I couldn’t depend on them anymore, or the like. When you hope in people and they let you down. (So I continue with the socially-produced processes…of not revealing too much, if anything @all, &being polite.)

    I guess it’s just hard to trust that people can actually care like that; I know they can, but don’t trust it.

    Like

    1. I’ve been there, trusting people to love me back, to understand, to stay beside me; and there was a good majority that didn’t. It’s heartbreaking, isn’t it?
      But there are people out there who truly do love you, who truly want to communicate, and be there for you.
      Setting good boundaries can be helpful while trying to figure out who is there to truly stay and be there for you. Reading the book “Boundaries” by Dr Henry Cloud and John Townsend may be helpful. Just a thought!

      Like

Please share your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s