Wednesday Thoughts. Usually we have a guest blogger on Wednesdays, but today I decided to share a few thoughts that have been on my heart as of late. <3
I read many blog posts that go along the lines of "I hate myself" "I cut myself over and over and over again tonight" "I binged…again, and purged…again" "I haven't eaten in three days and don't plan on eating for another three", "I relapsed, I am so worthless". And it makes my heart a little bit sick every time. I believe it is partially due to being able to distinctly remember writing those words myself, believing those words, and I can remember being in that frame of mind and how devastating it was.
The other part of it makes me heartsick because I can't make "your" pain go away for you. I can't hurry you along somehow by my own experiences and recovery. I can't tell you of a magic pill, or of to snap fingers and find yourself awoken to a new way of thinking.
You must feel the pain that your emotions are warring. You must learn to be okay with your emotions, and begin to understand that emotions are not always reality. You have to learn to be responsible to take up your cause and begin your own journey towards healing and recovery.
No one can do that for you. No one can feel your emotions for you, no one can tell you what your reality is, and no one is responsible for your recovery but for you.
Oof, that last one can be a hard one. I remember the blame game all too well, it makes me cringe now but I remember being unwilling and unable to want to recover for a long time. But you are the only one that can take the time and the care, for you to find recovery, whether it be from self harm, an eating disorder, addictive behaviors, or other disorders.
Learning to be responsible for your own recovery is a huge step forward. You'll need a good support system of friends, family, therapist and such for certain; but you are responsible for reaching out to them when you need help, for keeping them in the know when medications aren't working or therapy needs to take a different direction.
It isn't an easy road, I wish I could spare you it, I read your blog posts, I see your desperation and your sadness. But know this, I believe in you and in your ability to see the light of day. You are worth it, and you will make it.
Demi Lovato on Mental Health at the iHeartRadio Concert:
sometimes, you need to step outside, get some air, and remind yourself of who you are and who you want to be.
Today I would encourage you to do just this. Take a few minutes to step outside, breathe the fresh air, and think of where you are at now, where you would like to be and then write out 3 ways you can move towards of who you want to be/where you would like to be.
Those 3 ways can be super simple, it doesn’t need to be complex or grandiose ideas. Here’s a few ideas, take 5 minutes a day to go outside close your eyes and be still, look into therapy (or to finding a therapist), spend 15 minutes a day walking or exercising, find one positive healthy behavior that challenges you on a daily or weekly basis.
Changes comes by actions. So let’s find healthy positive actions that can help to bring you closer to that goal of recovery, or of simply finding more balance in your life.
We would love for you to share the 3 things you are going to challenge yourself with in the comment section below! All the best to you!